


Underpants, Snogging, and the Great Moonbeam

by AlexSW97



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual James Potter, First Kiss, Gay Remus Lupin, Gay Sirius Black, M/M, Trans Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:00:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28080546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexSW97/pseuds/AlexSW97
Summary: Remus is finally comfortable with the idea that he's trans. As it turns out, the stairs to the girl's dorm agree.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 19
Kudos: 172





	Underpants, Snogging, and the Great Moonbeam

His hair was everywhere. It covered the floor, the sink, his hands, it even stared back at him from the mirror. He took a moment to stare at himself, poking his fingers into his skin where the sharpness of his cheekbones stood out more than he’d ever known. 

He’d been scared to do it, afraid it would look bad, afraid he’d realise that that wasn’t really what he wanted. But now, staring at his reflection, he felt as if he were really seeing himself for the first time. Seeing himself how he was meant to be seen. A boy.  _ Remus _ Lupin. 

He vanished the hair to the bin, cleaning up all the evidence from the Prefect’s bath. He grabbed James’ cloak that he’d stolen before the lads had disappeared to their dorm, and tossed it over his head. 

The hallways were dark, his footsteps echoing loudly off the walls. He’d decided he would tell Lily first. She’d be the most accepting, by far, and it would be nice to have someone in their dorm that knew. 

He’d have to tell the lads next. They’d be more upset if he kept it from them than if he did tell them. He hoped so at least. Peter might be a little put off by it, and James might not know what to do with himself, but Sirius would surely be okay with it. He had to be. If he wasn’t, Remus didn’t think he’d be able to handle it. 

He made it to the common room without being caught and pulled the cloak off just before entering. The common room was empty, the fire had been put out, lost items stacked neatly on one of the tables. He crossed the room, hugging his arms around himself as the cold started to seep in, and made his way up to his dorm. 

He was two steps up when the stairs disappeared from underneath him, causing him to fall onto his hands and knees, the bare skin squeaking as he slid back into the common room. 

Tears suddenly pressed at his throat, panic rising. He’d only ever seen them change once, when Sirius had accidentally tried to follow him upstairs, but he knew what it meant. The stairs, just like Remus, no longer saw him as a girl. 

He couldn’t get to his room. 

“Shit,” he muttered, getting to his feet and dusting his jeans off. For a moment, he debated crashing on the couch, but there were no blankets, and the house-elves had already done their rounds. Besides, waking up on a Wednesday morning to a bunch of eager first years standing over him was not what he needed right now. 

He made up his mind quickly, racing up the stairs to the boy’s dorm before anyone could see what happened. He made his way down the hall towards their room, tears spilling from his eyes. He wiped them away as he reached their door and knocked carefully. 

The door opened way too soon, revealing Sirius in only his pants, his tie fastened around his head. 

“Hey Moons,” he said easily. His face fell as soon as he saw the tears. “What’s wrong?” He asked, grabbing Remus by the arms and pulling him inside. Peter was laying on his bed, reading a book, while James was dressed in a similar fashion to Sirius. 

The realisation that he’d have to come out right at that moment hit Remus and his stomach dropped. He let out a whimper, covering his face. Sirius’ arms were around him instantly, holding him close. 

“What happened? Are you hurt?” Sirius asked softly, guiding him somewhere in the room. Remus shook his head, his face hidden in Sirius’ neck “Talk to me, Moons, what is it?” 

He pushed Remus onto his bed and quickly tossed a t-shirt over his head. Remus rubbed at his eyes, watching as James threw a pair of pyjamas on, watching Remus with worried eyes. Sirius came back quickly, crouching in front of Remus. 

“Did you cut your own hair?” He asked, reaching up to pull at one of the strands. Remus nodded, avoiding Sirius’ eyes. “I love it. It looks so good.” 

“Yeah,” Peter said suddenly, climbing onto the bed beside Remus. “You look great, Moony.” 

James made a noise of agreement and sat down on his own bed, opposite Remus. “What’s wrong?” 

“The stairs won’t let me up,” Remus said quickly, slamming his eyes closed to avoid seeing any of their reactions. 

“What stairs?” Sirius asked, his grip tight on Remus’ knees. 

“To- to the girl’s dorms.” 

“But they-”

“Maybe it’s because you cut your hair,” Peter said. “There aren’t that many girls with short hair and-” 

Remus laughed out of frustration, opening his eyes and looking at Sirius, begging him to understand. His eyes were soft, but calculating, like he’d figured it out but wasn’t entirely sure. Remus glanced at James who looked confused, but like he was trying to figure it out. 

“Moons,” Sirius whispered, sitting up on his knees so that he was face to face with Remus. “I love you no matter what, okay?” 

Remus hesitated, anxiety flowing through his veins. “I- I’m a guy. I’m trans- I-” 

Sirius’ arms were around him again, holding him close. “You’re safe,” he whispered, only loud enough for Remus to hear. He pulled back after a second. “Got a new name there, Moonbeam?” 

“Remus,” he told him, not wanting to look at the other two just yet. Sirius’ face split into a wide smile and he looked at Remus like they’d just pulled off their best prank yet.

“It’s perfect,” Sirius said, grabbing his hands. “I love it. I- yeah. Yeah.  _ Remus _ .” 

Remus smiled, tears rising again hearing his name fall from someone else’s mouth for the first time. 

“Does this mean the two of you are going to stop fighting in your underpants now? Since Moony’s going to be bunking in here?” Peter asked, getting off the bed and ruffling Remus’ hair. 

“Never,” Sirius smirked, turning to look at James. “He can fight in his underpants too, for all I care.” 

“Remus,” James said, drawing their attention. He got up from the bed and walked over to sit beside Remus. “I fully support this. In fact, I’m thrilled, because now you can never escape us.  _ But,  _ I do feel a bit betrayed. How am I supposed to get secret intel on Evans now?” 

“I’ve never given you secret intel on her,” Remus argued, shoving James’ shoulder. “Especially not about her dorm habits!” James laughed and then pulled him into a tight hug.

“I love you, mate,” James told him, ruffling his hair just as Peter had done. 

“You too, Prongs.” 

“Want to borrow some pyjamas?” Sirius asked, walking over to his trunk. “Seeing as all you’ve got is your bloody uniform. Why are you even in that?” 

“I-” Remus blushed, looking down at his clothes. The buttons were stretched too tight over his chest and he felt sick to his stomach. He grabbed the collar, pulling at it until the fabric wasn’t showing the curves of his chest. “I went to the toilet after supper. Didn’t come back until now.” 

A pair of athletic shorts and a Rolling Stones t-shirt landed on Remus’ lap, followed by a pair of boxers. “Uh,” Sirius started, scratching the back of his head. “That good? I’ve got proper pyjamas if you want, but we don’t really wear those around here, so you better get used to it.” 

“Perfect,” Remus agreed. He quickly changed behind Sirius’ curtains and then re-emerged, setting his uniform and the athletic shorts on top of Sirius’ trunk. James raised his eyebrows when he saw Remus come out with just the boxers and t-shirt, but said nothing. 

“Stop staring at my arse, Potter,” he teased, winking in James’ direction. 

“I’m not,” James protested. “I was just surprised Sirius’ had pants that small. Besides, I’m straight. If I was staring at your arse that would be gay, right?” 

“You’re not straight,” the other three argued at the same time. 

“Oi!” 

“You’re not!” Sirius said, pointing an accusing finger at him. “Look me in the eye and tell me you’ve never wanted to snog a guy!” 

James didn’t say anything.

“Exactly,” Sirius laughed. “The only remotely straight person in here is Peter. And I’m not even sure-” 

“Definitely straight,” Peter confirmed. “I’ve seen too much in here to  _ ever _ be into men.” 

“Funny,” Remus laughed. “I think that’s the exact reason these two  _ aren’t  _ straight.” 

“Oi!”

“Is not!” 

“Oh yeah?” Remus teased. “Who is it you’ve thought about snogging then, James? If it’s not Sirius?” 

James frowned, crossing his arms over his chest and sitting down with a huff. Remus laughed, pushing down the spark of jealousy that flared up in his chest. 

“Didn’t realise you fancied me, Jamie,” Sirius teased, shoving his shoulder. 

“I don’t fancy you,” James protested. “I  _ fancy _ Lily. You’re just-” he waved his hands wildly, as if that could sum up everything about Sirius. “Fit.” 

“Thanks,” Sirius snorted. “Now if only I could convince the Great Moonbeam that I’m fit.” 

“Sirius, everyone and their grandma knows you’re fit,” Remus said flatly. Sirius flushed, but brushed it off quickly. 

“What do you think, Definitely Straight Peter? Am I fit?” Sirius asked, turning back to Peter. Peter rolled his eyes, grabbing his book from his bed and setting it on his nightstand. 

“Yes, Sirius, you’re fit. You also have a gigantic ego that needs constant feeding.” 

“That’s not very nice,” Sirius argued. Peter flipped him off, climbing into bed and pulling the curtains. A moment later he poked his head back out.

“If he gets too much for you, Moony, feel free to bunk in here,” he said, before pulling the curtains shut again.

“Thanks, Wormy,” Remus told him. Sirius frowned and shoved Remus’ shoulders lightly, sending him falling back onto his bed. 

“Share my bed,” Sirius mumbled, fussing with the bed curtains. James snorted, drawing Remus’ attention. 

“What?” Remus asked, turning to him. James shook his head, gesturing to Sirius as if that explained anything. He climbed into his own bed, leaving Remus and Sirius alone. “Are you sure?” 

“What?” Sirius asked, climbing onto the bed and pulling the curtains. He made to strip his shirt off but paused. 

“It’s fine,” Remus shrugged. Sirius nodded, pulling the shirt over his head. Remus’ breath caught for a second. “And I mean, are you sure it’s okay if I share your bed?” 

Sirius looked at him like he’d grown a second head. “Obviously,” he muttered, pulling back the blankets. “You always share my bed.” 

“Yes, but,” Remus scratched the back of his head, watching Sirius slide under the sheets. “That’s when you thought I was a girl.” 

“So?” Sirius asked, holding the sheets for Remus to climb under. “What difference does that make? Other than we probably won’t get detention if McGonagall finds you sleeping in here.” 

“I just, I don’t know,” Remus shrugged as he slid under the covers. “I guess... Doesn’t it... we’re both into blokes.” 

“So?” Sirius repeated. “Worried I can’t keep my hands to myself?” Remus rolled his eyes. Sirius’ brows shot up, mischief in his eyes. “Worried  _ you  _ can’t keep your hands to yourself?” 

“Shut up!” Remus said, kicking him in the shins. “I don’t know! I just want to make sure it’s okay. If you’re gay, and now you’ve got a bloke in your bed-” 

“ _ Mostly _ gay,” Sirius corrected, as he so often did. He’d always insisted he was  _ mostly  _ gay. Not bi, not pan, not queer. Just  _ mostly _ gay. A strange look passed over his face. “No, sorry. Completely gay.” 

“Changed your mind then?” Remus asked, propping himself up on his elbow. “That mystery girl break your heart?” 

Sirius laughed, the funny look still on his face like he had just come to some great realisation. “Nah,” he shook his head. “Turns out he was actually a bloke.” 

“What-” Remus paused, the possible meaning of Sirius’ words hitting him. His heart doubled in speed, nerves churning in his stomach again. The thought that Sirius could actually feel the same was... almost too much. “What?” 

Sirius’ face fell slightly and he turned to look at the ceiling, a casual smile forcing its way onto his mouth. “Sorry,” he said. “You’ve got enough going on right now. It just sort of clicked. I was always so confused as to how I could be so fucking gay, but then you were right there and I’m so into you and now it makes sense, because you were never a girl so-” 

“Me?” Remus asked, his voice cracking horrendously. Sirius turned back to him with a look on his face like Remus was out of his mind. Heat rose to Remus’ cheeks as he tried to figure out how he could have misinterpreted what Sirius had just said. 

“ _ Obviously _ ,” Sirius said. “Wait. You hadn’t realised?” 

“No!” Remus said, his eyes going wide. 

“Oh,” Sirius said. “Sorry, I thought you knew.” He turned back to face the ceiling, the forced smile no longer there. “It’s okay if you don’t feel the same. Or if you want to bunk with one of the-” 

“ _ I do _ ,” Remus said, basically rolling on top of Sirius. He brought one of his hands to the side of Sirius’ face, directing it so that he couldn’t look away. “I do feel the same. Sirius,” he whispered, his eyes flitting all over Sirius’ face. “I thought- I didn’t know what  _ mostly _ gay meant. I thought maybe you were just willing to put out for some singer or something. And I was- I  _ thought  _ I was a girl, but- Sirius, you should have said something.” 

Sirius’ eyes were wide, locked on Remus’ mouth as he stuttered through his explanation. “I love you.” 

“I-” Remus’ breath caught in his throat as he stared down at Sirius who had just said that as if it was the easiest thing in the world. “I love you, too, Sirius, so much, I-” 

“Kiss me.” 

Remus leaned down, pressing their lips together, his heart stuttering against his ribcage. Sirius parted his lips instantly, forcing his tongue into Remus’ mouth and tangling his hand in Remus’ hair. His other hand went to Remus’ lower back, pushing under his shirt. 

Remus pulled back, just slightly, enough for words to pass between their mouths. “How slow do you want to take this?” He whispered. Sirius’ breath hitched, and Remus ran his tongue over Sirius’ bottom lip. He pulled back, pressing kisses along Sirius’ jaw all the way to his ear. He paused when he got there, realising Sirius hadn’t answered his question. “Or how fast?” He whispered right against Sirius’ ear. 

Sirius whimpered, pulling at Remus’ hair. “I-” he pulled Remus’ head back, his eyes wide. “I’d  _ marry _ you right now, if you wanted. Whatever you want, Remus.  _ Please _ .” 

“This is wonderful and all,” James said suddenly, causing both of them to jump. “But I’d appreciate a silencing charm before this goes any further!” 

“Sorry!” Remus called, grabbing his wand and casting a quick silencing charm. 

“Y’know, Remus,” Sirius said, his hands sliding up the back of Remus’ shirt to his shoulder blades. “I was going to suggest we go to McGonagall and tell her we need a new bed added to the dorm. But now I’m not so sure.” 

“Oh?” Remus asked, smiling down at Sirius. 

“I’d much rather keep you in my bed from now on,” Sirius explained, pulling on Remus’ shoulders until their mouths were almost touching again. “If that’s alright?” 

“Sounds perfect,” Remus whispered.

Sirius smiled against his mouth and slotted their lips together once again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!


End file.
